September 12, 2012


My house is still a disaster, my dishes still aren't done, the laundry is still taking over the living room (although on a lesser scale than last week), and I still don't feel like I've had a lot of time to just sit. And breathe. And genuinely take it easy. And my toilet it starting to look like it needs a serious clean.

On Monday I woke up to my alarm at 6:20 thinking that at least it was Thursday. Yesterday the same thing happened, but I thought it was Friday. And then I thought it was Monday. I'm still not really sure what day it is and I don't have a free evening until Friday (define "free"'), but I'm starting to get into a groove.

Getting up at 6:30 is hard, especially with the cooler weather and the lack of light in our bedroom, but once Furlo and I are out at the park I don't mind it as much. I have more time in the mornings and this morning had a chance to just sit and chat with Mom before going about my routine. I was making baked oatmeal (I call it breakfast bars) I'd prepared the night before and had some time to kill.

It was nice to just sit and chat and explain the intricacies of my iPod over a glass of milk. I can tell that being house bound is making her a little stir crazy, but at least she's had daily visitors to keep her occupied. I've been a lot more intentional with the time I've been spending with her so that she doesn't get too lonely with just the dog.

I have found that I'm very grateful for some of the things I have in my life. As I drove around for an hour after work yesterday, running errands and hitting up the library, I was so immensely grateful that I have a car. Without my car I wouldn't have been able to get home as quickly when Mom fell. I could have used her vehicle after that, but the freedom of my own is so much less stressful. I took a sanity break on Monday night and visited some friends. I don't want to borrow someone else's vehicle to drive across town all the time. Going to the grocery store more times than I care to count on Monday, as well as appointments at both the doctor and the optometrist, would have been a real hassle (read: next to impossible) without a vehicle. The same goes with picking up dog food, getting a refund on my camera, and heading to the library. I am just so fortunate that we can have a second car for me to use. Without a car this week I would have lost my mind.

I am also incredibly grateful for hot showers. After a long day of work, errands, and life in general, it's nice to be able to wash it all away and warm up. Our basement cave is really cold already and there is nothing more soothing than a hot shower that warms you up to the core, better than a hoodie ever could. True story.

I have no idea when things are going to slow down, but I imagine I won't feel relaxed again until my house is back in livable order. Let's just say, I've been spending a lot of time averting my eyes when it comes to pretty much anywhere except for our bedroom. There I just close my eyes.

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