March 06, 2017

Currently. March "blizzard" edition.

wearing: A baby in a wrap, standing at the kitchen counter, hoping the toddler doesn't realize that I've got something cool that he doesn't have. Actually, he's being very quiet. Just checked and he's scooping flour out of the bag and onto the floor with a rogue measuring cup. But that's not what I'm wearing, because what I'm wearing is a newborn. There's really no other explanation for what is currently happening. It's like the heaviest sweater I've ever owned and it's almost guaranteed to give me back issues, especially leaning over the counter like this. But I'm also wearing joggers (the kind of sweatpants that are socially acceptable to wear in public) because we have a blizzard warning and the only people I'm going to see today have either slept in my bed or delivered my mail.

listening: I finished the Blue Babies Pink podcast last night. You can also read it, but at this stage in my fussy baby wrangling life listening is more up my alley. I very highly recommend it. He does such a good job of telling his story, throwing in some beautiful imagery, and I'd be lying if I told you I didn't tear up a couple times. If you don't know what it is, it's a gay Christian man telling his story, and no matter how you feel about that particular theological issue it's well worth a listen.

Now that I'm done with that I'll catch back up with Young House Love's podcast. It's my bedtime kitchen cleaning jam.

I'm also going through the Harry Potter audiobooks again. I needed something good to listen to during naptime and didn't have the energy to find another audiobook. They can be so hit or miss.

I also have The Elms' Truth, Soul, Rock and Roll in the CD player. I now relate to all those old people listening to music from their high school days. I don't think I will ever stop liking The Elms.

anticipating: A trip to Victoria later this week. I'm a bit nervous about our raging toddler being places that aren't Parker-proofed. He's going to be spending a whole weekend at my mom's without us while we go to a wedding in Vancouver. Someone told me after church yesterday that he's such a delightful kid and she loves having him in Sunday School. I almost cried. As a parent, that's kind of all you can hope for. I'm hoping that carries over into his time with my mom. 

I'm looking forward to time with friends, visiting the petting zoo, ice cream sandwiches, vegan doughnuts, and buying new shoes. My feet have gone up a half size and I feel like this month's clothing budget would be well spent on a new pair of nice footwear. 

eating: Chocolate right now, but also a lot of crock pot meals. Why I didn't use our crock pot every day for the first couple years we had it is beyond me. I use it at least once a week now and it's the best thing ever. Especially with the snow. Also, tuna wraps. 

making: Belgian waffles, book mobiles, pompoms, and baby blankets. Did you know real Belgian waffles are made with yeast and chunks of sugar? I burned my finger about 15 times cleaning the melted sugar off the waffle iron (with a q-tip) and eventually decided that the rest of it could stay on there for the next time. How are you even supposed to clean a waffle iron? Why doesn't the iron part come off for actual cleaning? Someone should lose their job for that design fail.

feeling: Tired, mostly, and sometimes overwhelmed. Looking after two very little kids is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. When Parker was born I used to mourn my life before kids, wondering if it wouldn't have been wise to wait longer before having kids. Then I realized we weren't that interesting before anyway and got over it. The hard part about having two under two is disciplining the older one. He's too young to understand a ton of consequences, but not too young to know when he's doing something he shouldn't. It's a hard age, and while things have certainly gotten easier in the past few weeks as we all adjust to the new normal, I can't help but feel that if the age gap was even a few months bigger between the kids this would be a bit easier.

I was so tired on Saturday that, aside from accidentally burning myself multiple times on the waffle iron, I cut my finger while making pompoms. I was clearly too tired for depth perception. And basic intelligence. I took a half hour nap then proceeded to win a round of Settlers of Catan for only the second time ever, and I did so quite handily. Highlight of of my weekend. 

reading: I have a hundred pages left in the fantasy book I'm reading. It's the fourth and final in the series and according to goodreads the ending is the worst thing ever. I'm really looking forward to finding out what it is.

I'm also reading parenting books on discipline. Dear Lord, how have I come to this point in my life?

It's not very often I have more than one book on the go at a time, but I currently have three. I'm hoping to trim that down drastically in the next week or two. It feels like cleaning three rooms at a time and having nothing actually clean. Too many loose ends.

loving: Baby girl clothes and thrift stores. After reorganizing Parker's room there's a lot of blank wall space. I went to the Salvation Army the other day to try and find stuff to put on his wall, and ended up spending $8 on a dress, two pairs of pants, and a sleeper for Molly. I wish I had as much luck on finding clothes for myself there, but I went through the bins of my old clothes the other day and I have some great stuff in there. If that isn't motivation to lose the baby weight nothing is.

watching: Way too much TV and Netflix. That's the beauty of middle of the night nursing sessions and the newborn days. I've given up on The Magicians. I watched it last year because I read the book a while ago and was hoping the show would be better. It was, but not by much. I'm over it.

Riverdale, The 100, and Jane the Virgin are my weekly Netflix go-tos. I also watched Santa Clarita Diet and really enjoyed it. Nathan Fillion was a major highlight of it.

Do you watch Suits? We caught up on Netflix then realized we have the channel it comes on and are now totally caught up. I actually understood most of what happened this season and the finale was probably my favourite episode ever. 

We finished The Good Wife. I have a crush on Jeffrey Dean Morgan (except his waist is so tiny it makes me insecure) and it's rolling over into our Walking Dead watching. Is it wrong that I have a little crush on Negan?

missing: Spring and fall. I'm over winter (always am) but summer is too stinking hot here. I'm hoping the island sorts itself out and stops having winter and snow (what in the world?) and has balmy spring weather when we're there. Especially since I sweet talked my mom into taking me for a pedicure this Friday.

February 15, 2017

When your toddler turns into the Hulk.

We've had one of those weeks where it's like the Energizer Bunny from Hell. It just keeps going and going and going and, seriously, is it only Wednesday? At least, that's how the week started.

After reading another scary article someone shared on Facebook about RSV, I noticed Molly had some of the symptoms. She's fine, but we spent 24 hours in the hospital with her under observation just to make sure she was okay.

When her and I got home, Parker had a nasty cough and a rash that looked similar to one he had when he had an ear infection. Off to the clinic he and Karl went, where they waited two nightmarish hours (anything over 20 minutes of waiting with a toddler is like a visit to a psychopathic dentist) only to find out he didn't have an ear infection, just a cold. They came home with a prescription for a puffer and some steroids to help with his wheezing.

The pharmacist instructed me to only give Parker the steroids in the morning with breakfast because it would give him an energy boost. May the good Lord have mercy on us all because he wasn't kidding.

Parker destroyed our house this morning. I'm not exaggerating. There's usually a fair amount of chaos left in a toddler's wake, but this morning he reached a new level. No amount of discipline could get him to listen to me and stop attacking my tea trolley or breast pump while I used it. He pulled the change pad off his dresser. He pulled the clothes out of his laundry basket and drawers. He got everything off the top of his bookshelf. I walked in on him trying to tip his bookshelf over. My house looks like it's been searched by very inconsiderate thieves. The place is trashed.

My toddler had a case of roid rage and it was terrifying.

Molly had her follow-up appointment with the paediatrician today so I asked him about Parker and he told me that steroids aren't necessary for bronchiolitis (which is what Molly has so Parker likely does to). Sold. Done. No more steroids for that kid unless daycare wants to take him tomorrow because I am not a crazy person, but I will be if we go through that again.

On the bright side, all the built up tension from having a small scale natural disaster take place in my home has given me enough pent up tension and energy to go back to the gym and hit the treadmill. If I don't, I worry that I may have my own Incredible Hulk moment. I also have an excuse to redecorate Parker's room and a new bookshelf for my living room. Winning.

February 06, 2017

You win some, you lose some.

After a solid month of having family around, we are finally getting the chance to try our hand at being just a family of four. Today was the first day of just me and the kids at home, and there were no tears. (Even though only two of us are actually able to produce tears at the moment.)

Molly will be four weeks old tomorrow and, even though I'm not as much of a mental case as I was when Parker was born, I'm still pretty sleep deprived and, as a result, plain old stupid. My brain power is being used to change bums and ensure that anyone under three feet tall is fed in a timely manner. Everything else is secondary. Except laundry. I am a laundry doing fiend and when it eventually gets folded I put it away like a fiend, too. We're still working on getting back into a fiendish folding routine. We're only four weeks in though, and I know it was a solid eight with Parker before I felt capable of life.

When I dropped my mom off at the airport Saturday evening I managed to confuse myself enough with figuring out how to drive to Michaels afterward that I started thinking it was Friday and wow rush hour traffic was light and dang I might as well go to the thrift store on the way home to pick up some books since I have no kids. Except of course it was closed because it wasn't Friday at all and things close earlier on Saturdays. Then I went home and to bed at 8:30 because adulting is fun.

I cleaned my kitchen this morning, did laundry, and emptied the dishwasher so I think the second time mom is ahead of the game. I imagine moms with three or more kids are making dinner in the delivery room they're such pros.

Having a toddler and a newborn presents its own challenges. When Karl's around I like to negotiate my way out of changing all the diapers. I'll offer to do one kid in exchange for him doing the other. The question I find myself asking is whether I'd rather change one giant raunchy toddler turd or eight newborn ones. Usually there's no actual option, but these are the deep things I think about in the middle of at the night while I'm up at BFG o'clock acting as baby buffet.

I remember thinking with newborn Parker that he never napped when I wanted. Why did that kid just want to be awake and torment me? Now I can't help but wish he slept like he did when he was a newborn. Okay, I wouldn't trade the 13 Parker-free hours I get a night for all the diamonds in the world, but during the day? Yes, please, nap all the time. I didn't sleep while holding him until he got his first cold at two months because I had the fear of squishing him branded into my soul by the health nurses. This go-round Molly and I nap together regularly and we tend to co-sleep half the nights. She's got some gas issues (she doesn't like it) and I have some issues with being woken up every couple hours (I don't like it) so cuddling is mutually beneficial. She has someone to fart on and I can get up to three and a half hours of sleep in a row.

During the day I get to stare enviously at Molly napping in her vibrating massage chair, working to get the gas out, while I get fed pieces of chalk and pull a wooden bee around the house on plastic cord. Today the big game was helping Parker put on his hoodie and zipping it up everything 90 seconds.

With Parker I found I had to go easy on my ginger consumption, but I now I've had the horrendous realization that I may need to take a break from eating black beans with Molly. I was planning on making (and eating most of) a bean cake for her due date. I'm glad I realized the negative impact that can have on our lives/sleep before I went hardcore. I'm sad, but I've got coffee to comfort me so it could be much worse. And I'm fairly confident in my ability to make a decent chickpea cake.

Parker fell down the stairs yesterday before going to a Superbowl party with Karl. It wrecked me, hearing the thump-thump-thump-cry. He was fine, just scared, but we didn't see it happen and I had visions of him with a broken head or neck and then I contemplated getting our fireplaces removed and wrapping him in bubble wrap. I had a lot of that kind of anxiety when he was born, but I'm doing really well this time. I've never thought about getting a helmet for Molly, and she's only had one head injury so far.

Parker is very into his books, and the other day he got a little over zealous with the Toot book (his current favourite) and hit Molly in the temple with the corner of it while I was burping her. She cried, he cried, she had a tiny red mark on her head all day, but the real takeaway was that he loves her enough to feel empathy to whatever  extent a toddler can actual feel complex emotions. I just know they're going to be BFFs, he just has to stop trying to stick his fingers in her eyes and ears.

Molly and I had our own grand old Superbowl party. We drank milk, ate cookies, got tummy massages, and watched Sherlock. I even did laundry. The good life.

I have to say, I really wasn't sad to see the tail end of January. Excepting Molly, it was kind of a crummy month. Sure, I ate some amazing cake, but I spent a fair amount of time in a body that was, in all likelihood, trying to kill me. Without modern medicine I would have been a walking bag of infection (probably still would be, and super pregnant to boot). Nevermind the whole water breaking thing, but I also got a stomach bug last weekend. There is nothing more desirable than having a 2.5 week old infant and being forced to spend an embarrassing amount of time in the bathroom while also necessitating a giant mixing bowl beside your bed. It's okay, though, because I lost five lbs over night, and since I'd over indulged in lactation cookies my milk supply didn't seem to suffer one bit. I was also the only person in the house to get sick and had a good excuse to stay home from church with Molly and watch Netflix.

I've got to hand it to January, though. I surpassed my weight loss goal, and am now down 23 (okay, 20 since I started eating/drinking again) lbs. Take that, Christmas weight.

Speaking of food, our church has arranged a meal train for us, so instead of making supper this week I can do other productive thing instead of preparing food for my family. Like blogging.