September 20, 2012

Me: So hot right now.

I've always thought Douglas street was a little eclectic but the past 24 hours have really demonstrated all the quirkiness that Douglas has to offer.

You've heard me talk before about men in open Spider-Man shirts, people in bikinins, and men in zebra print cowboy hats. Today I'm not talking about those kind of oddities. Well, maybe a little I will.

Yesterday a woman, a very normal looking woman for the record, decided that she would peer in through the office's glass door. She cupped her hands around her eyes so she could see in better and everything. This used to happen when I worked at Starbucks. People (tourists) would stand outside the big double glass doors and peer through them. My question is, don't people know that glass is see through? They're trying to see but I sure as anything can see them. The thing that gets me is, if you really want to know what's inside and don't feel like looking ridiculous, why not just... open the door and see?

It's okay, I guess having a degree helps me reach that higher level of thinking. Maybe those people only have a diploma or something.

Today Dad and I moseyed over to the mall for my lunch break. As we were sitting outside, enjoy the sun and some Starbucks, Dad pointed out a guy who was about to lose his pants. Normally when you think of a guy losing his pants you think of some butt crack and then some boxers. Try not to get a mental image but this dude (not a gentleman) had his pants hanging so low that if they slipped down any more he would be not only giving us a full moon but certain... bits... would be there for the Thursday lunch crowd to see. Grossest. Thing. Ever.

Having never been exposed to man bits in public before by a super sketchy stranger, or anyone for that matter, I hastily suggested that we relocate and, being the upstanding citizens we are, Dad made sure the mall cops were on the case. To make matters even worse, sketchy practically pantless man was getting ready to start smoking. There are signs EVERYWHERE at the mall that say you aren't allowed to smoke anywhere on the property. People that smoke on the mall patio are the reason smokers get such a bad rep. Shame on the rule breakers. Shame!

Then, because crazy comes in threes apparently, I returned to the office to find a random sitting outside on the steps. We share an entrance way with three other businesses, but it was still weird. I figured maybe he was waiting for someone, but then why did he take a little break and go get a coffee? Like I said, the crazies were everywhere.

Like the lady yesterday, and unlike the lunch time guy, this guy seemed pretty normal. Close to my age, maybe a couple years younger, but not, you know, scuzzy and dirty like mall guy. So I did my after lunch routine of tidying up the kitchen and came back to my desk. Stair Guy sat there for 45 minutes after I got back from lunch. I figured maybe he was just enjoying the shade and thought it was a good place to listen to his headphones.

We don't have a "No Loitering" sign or anything around, we aren't downtown after all, so I figured he was just doing his thing and it wasn't hurting anyone. He was almost in the walking way but wasn't impacting traffic so I figured it didn't matter and there's nothing I could do without being an awkward jerk.

Right before he left,  Stair Guy popped his head into the office. I figured he was going to ask me for directions or for someone. Nope. He said, "I just wanted to tell you that you're really pretty," and then left. Random! Then, because it must be a full moon on Douglas today, he came back a few minutes later and went into the other part of the building.

Now, I think there's a lesson we can all take out of this. Dress well and the randoms will notice. Today marks day three in a row of the belt over cardigan look and I'm feeling good. Sure, three days in a row of the same style might be a little overkill but hey, if it works it works. And clearly it's working for me.

Be safe out there.

No comments:

 photo comments_zps824b3be6.jpg