August 23, 2012

A windy slip up.

The weather's a changing as fall and school and rain are all making their comeback. Actually none of those things have happened yet but the recent hot weather has pretty finished and today they didn't even predict that we'd hit 20°.

In my infinite wisdom I decided that today would be a good day to bust out one of my summer dresses that didn't get as much wear as it deserved. I decided to combat the cooler weather and office by adding tights, boots and the mandatory cardigan. It's pretty much an end of summer ode to the summer dress with a nod to fall thrown in their for good measure. You don't have to tell me, I know I'm brilliant.

I walked to work this morning and had no issues at all. I got a little warm but all in all it was rather refreshing. I was feeling the outfit. Yeah, baby. Working it.

Then this afternoon hit and I needed to run some office errands. I began to question my wardrobe choice and remembered why I'm not so into the flowing skirt thing: wind. I had no issues on the morning walk but the afternoon walk was fraught with peril. Big peril. Embarrassing peril. Peril of the underwear showing on the busy street variety.

Yeah, that kind of peril.

I'm not sure where all this wind came from but it reminded me why I have such an aversion to not wearing anything under dresses or skirts. Leggings are my favourite because they're like pants and don't really cause a great deal of embarrassment if and when nature decides it's time to screw with your sensitivities. Mine being my bottom and its public presence; I really like it to have no public presence.

It was bad for a little bit, but I was managing to keep everything pretty G-rated for the most part. I was confident in my bum's ability to stay beneath my dress and maintain my dignity. I was walking fine and, aside from the occasional tug downwards, was keeping everything really casual with the skirt of my dress. I'm pretty sure that everyone driving by could tell that I was in charge of the situation and had it going on. Obviously they thought I had it going on, I'd worn such a seemingly sensible outfit today.

Then it happened. One big gust of wind and all of a sudden my empire waist dress' skirt was rising to embarrassingly high new heights and showing Douglas street things that Douglas street has no business seeing: my slip.

Never have I been so happy to dress like a grandma before. I wear a slip beneath this dress for just the very occasion that it will be windy and my dress will try to take away my modesty. It reduces the awkward body clinging nature of summer dresses everywhere and protected me from what could have been a truly awkward moment on the way to Canadian Tire. As unattractive as they are, I salute slips everywhere for hiding my underwear.

I will now drown my embarrassment and shame in birthday Runts.

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