August 23, 2012

Successfully awkward.

I have a tendency to make things awkward. It's something I used to be awkward about, keeping the awkward circle of awkwardness alive, but in recent years I've learned to embrace it as part of who I am. Did you know being confident in your awkwardness negates a lot of the awkwardness? True story, at least if you're the awkward one. Now that's a lot of awkward in one paragraph.

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield had the best ever awkward scene in The Amazing Spider-Man. Seriously, I kid you not. I don't think I've ever done anything that awkward before but it was such a beautifully awkward moment that it may have been the highlight of the whole movie for me. I think we can call that a "random aside." I initially had a purpose for sharing that with you but it's gone as I inwardly cringe and laugh at memories from watching the movie on Saturday.

Sunday morning I went out for breakfast with some lovely lady friends to celebrate a birthday among us. No I'm not talking about myself in code, it really was someone else's birthday. I mentioned at one point about how I would like some more of my friends to get married because I'd like to go to more weddings. I freaking love weddings. I guess what I forgot to tell the single girls at the table, who all rolled their eyes at me FYI, was that my desire was more an eventual one. After so much wedding bombardment over the past few years I don't mind waiting a little longer, I just want to have eventual weddings to go to. And by a little longer I'm thinking with the next ten years. I'm not trying to be pushy.

The thing is, almost everyone I hang out with is either married or single and there is remarkably little in between. Honestly, I'm friends with two couples that are dating. That's it. Everyone else is either married or single. I want me some weddings!

One of the lovely ladies mentioned that she wouldn't mind not being single. Respect. Also, respect for the happily single. I've been with Karl since I was 18 and all that sounds appealing to me. If I was single I could eat cereal for dinner every single night. But I would also freeze to death in winter. See? Not that I want to get rid of Karl, because I plan on keeping him for the long run, but because I understand that there are pros and cons to being both single and attached. I do, however, believe that wanting to not be single for the sake of not being single is a little odd and that it should really be more about wanting to be with a person than not being alone. See the difference? Yeah, I'm pretty much a relationship expert. Not at all.

I said, though, because I have a bit of experience in the world of relationships that, "As a successfully married person-"

I didn't get much farther than that. Cringes and groans and awkward laughter greeted my statement. I didn't understand. Did everyone think that my marriage wasn't successful? Did they know something about my marriage that I didn't? How was that an awkward and seemingly uncomfortable thing for me to say?

It wasn't until yesterday that it hit me. Everyone thought I was talking about being successfully married in the sense of being successfully no longer single, not that my marriage was successful. Huh.


By the way, my advice was that it doesn't always have to be the guy to make the first move. I told Karl I liked him because I didn't want to play any guessing games and look how well that worked out for me. We planned our first date then and there in the Blockbuster parking lot. Talk about romance!

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