Withdrawing.

I'm having a love affair with coffee. Sadly, it's only in my head.

I have, officially, given up caffeine in its liquid forms. No more real coffee, no more steeped tea, no more morning Tetley with my dry Cheerios (unless it's decaf which, as it stands, it is) and, I guess, no more cola type beverages although I pretty much gave those up ages ago.

I haven't cut chocolate out of my life because while my body may hate me I don't hate it and I still believe that there should be some joy in life. Somewhere, somehow. Especially since bananas are officially gone, too. I may need to try making zucchini loaves to fill the void in my life that is everything bananas.

The banana boycott has been unofficially underway for months now, but after making the most amazing smoothie of my life Thursday morning and paying the heavy price Friday afternoon I had to make some serious choices.

Before I was consuming less caffeine, choosing it over bananas. Now I think I'd like to choose bananas over caffeine but I need to get serious about caffeine free living first.

This is my second attempt at sharing with you my caffeine quitting adventures. I tried to post yesterday but I was so jaded and miserable that nothing good came out of it. The post-migraine world is never fun, but the road to recovery is even less enjoyable when there's no caffeine there to dull the pain.

Today is day four.

I won't tell you it's easy because it's not. It's a painful experience that I'm pretty sure is being made more painful by the fact that my blood volume is/was lower than usual (hurray for successful donations!), I suffered migraine nausea, muscle tensing, and an all around lack of fun, as well as withdrawal symptoms from my constant companion for the last several years.

This is not a happy time. I'm sure I'll be happy once I'm over this whole thing, but for now I'm tempted to eat chocolate bars I don't even like because I know they'll help make everything better.

I am strong, though. I am capable. I am so addicted. I will succeed!