February 23, 2012

I have a new love. Maybe.

Last night was the beginning of a new relationship for me. It wasn't with the paper shredder, we're on hiatus, it was with my new humidifier.

Two nights of getting up in the middle of the night to hack on the couch made me motivated to buy a humidifier and end the nonsense. I remember when I was younger and sick my mom would put one in my room and the thing would just belch out humidity and it would be glorious. And I could breathe again! That's what I wanted.

I did a little online research as to what Walmart, London Drugs, and Canadian Tire could offer me. Canadian Tire was the only website that didn't make me search all over for product reviews and in the end I decided upon their second cheapest model of Honeywell cool mist humidifier. It had better reviews than the $40 model and I figured ten dollars more is worth it for something that doesn't keep you awake all night. I can sleep through anything, it's Karl I worry about.

I picked up my new friend after work and when my husband got home he informed me that Honeywell's a good brand. I felt even better about my purchase. Around eight I turned on a show on my laptop, brought out the knitting, and plugged in my new toy. I was so disappointed. There was no visible mist pumping out of it. Standing over it I could hardly feel anything. Where was my humidity?

Last night I decided that I wouldn't even bother trying to sleep in the bedroom. I knew I was still hacking and coughing and choking and dying even when I was awake and that sleep would not be any easier so I decided, for both our sakes, to just start on the couch. It saved me from having to make the trek in the wee hours of the morning, and I got it all set up just how I like before hand. I plugged my humidifier in on high six inches away from any furniture, just like the instructions said, but close enough that I could reach it if I felt humidified enough or wanted to turn it off high.

I'd like to say that Karl wept when I said I wouldn't be there to cuddle him but that would be a lie. I think he was happy to see me and my coughing gone from his sleep zone but I also don't think he believed that I had it in me to last the night out of bed. I showed him.

Sleeping on the couch was the right choice. I coughed more than the other two nights combined and all in the first few hours of sleep. It was gross. My humidifier definitely let me down there. After 1:30, though, I think I slept, more or less, without coughing and choking and dying. Maybe my humidifier did work. This relationship is off to an uncertain start. And I had such high hopes for us!

Tonight I will arm myself with codeine and turn my humidifier on before I go to bed or, as is probably going to be the case once again, couch. Here's hoping that this relationship turns out to be one for the history books.

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