January 11, 2012

Why I'm thankful

Today I did what I sometimes do when I have a moment: I looked up the head hunter I worked for to see where the company ended up and if my old boss has replaced me yet.

She was in the process of trying to find a new office when I left, something I was involved in, so I'm naturally kind of curious about what happened. I didn't leave that job on good terms, and I don't think I left soon enough. I probably could have handled myself better when I did leave, but the situation was so uncomfortable and strange that I just had to cut and run. That's probably a sign of weakness, but I don't think I have that type-A personality and drive that was needed to succeed there.

It's not really a job I like to think about because it just makes me tense up and get frustrated. The point is, the website hasn't been updated for a while and there's still a smiling picture of me up there under the title of "Manager" when I was actually a research associate. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that. I think it's kind of funny, more than anything. I also feel like it's a step up into the grown up world. Remember, my name was also on a door. I'm pretty sure that's something every university graduate wouldn't mind having.

The only thing that I worry about is if the boss there is still using my name. The day I quit, I noticed that she had sent some correspondence from my email account to clients. I was a little miffed because I tend to be more polite than businesslike with people and I don't like having someone do something on my behalf if they're not going to act the way I would. It's a "whatever" thing, though, because I didn't care enough to say anything. Sometimes I wonder, though, what happened with my company email address and if I should ask her to take my photo down from the website.

I've been burned by people before doing things that have reflected poorly on me and have likely tainted my reputation and professional relationships. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. While I don't think I will be dealing with any of the people those businesslike emails were sent to, it's still kind of bothersome.

I would like to make it clear, that while I wasn't particularly happy at my research associate position and I did have some ethical issues with the company, my boss wasn't an immoral person and was very professional in how she ran things. The only exception to that was with my position as a "contractor" which I really think was due to a lack of understanding on her part and not a desire to screw me over. Also some willful ignorance.

So why am I thankful? I'm thankful that my parents taught me to have enough self-respect to get out of a job that, while it had financial incentives, wasn't good for me. My three day work weeks were causing 4 day weekend stress and distraction. I'm thankful that I worked really hard to get that job, though, and that my hard work paid off. I'm thankful I had a job offer two weeks after finishing my university course load. I'm also thankful that after all the junk that happened with crappy job after crappy job I finally got one that I think I can really enjoy for a long time. And I think it can enjoy me, too. At least that's the hope.

I know that all of this isn't just due to my parents or myself, though. Let's be honest, it's hard to believe that life just lines up like this for no reason. I'm thankful for that too. I'm done now with ranting about crazy bosses and headhunting. Now you have something to be thankful for.

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