January 14, 2013


Friday night I had my first ever chiropractor appointment and I'm pretty sure it was life altering. I decided to take another shot at figuring out my migraines. In case you're new to this or want a little refresher, here it is in forty words or less: I used to get migraines every few months, I cut out caffeine in April and it was amazing at stopping them, but then September happened and it's been a roller coaster of bi-weekly migraines ever since. Joy.

After last week's migraine I decided that was enough and it was time to try another method of treatment, so I booked the chiropractor for Friday. I'd never been before and was a little nervous. Was I going to have to take my clothes off? I mean, it was happening at the same office as where I got massages for a little while, and she made strip down to my undies. The difference being that she was a she and I always had time to shower beforehand (you know, I wouldn't want to touch a smelly stranger), and the chiropractor's a guy and I'd have no time for a shower before hand.

When I asked one of my coworkers if I'd have to get naked, she told me that if he asked me to take of my clothes I should just leave. Thankfully, he was fine with me fully clothed. Not that I asked or anything, he didn't need to get any ideas. Not that he would have, he was a very nice man. With a pony tail. My mom finds him quite alluring. I think it's a generational thing.

Anyway, the chiropractor actually gave me a 15 to 20 minute anatomy lesson when I first showed up. He showed me pictures of the body's nervous system, muscle make-up, and a skeleton. In doing so he pretty much explained why I might be getting migraines. It was basically life changing. Not only did he explain a lot about the human body I've forgotten since high school Bio class, but he also taught me some things that relate practically to (potentially) why my brain hates me a couple times a  month.

Um, thank you Mr Chiropractor, sir.

After that he tried to rip my head off and break my neck (at least that's what it sounded/felt like, but not in a painful way) before body slamming me multiple times. 

Apparently I'm a sucker for abuse because I'm going back this Saturday. Who needs money when a short man with a pony tail wants to practice his WWE moves on me for $65 an hour? The answer is no one.

The only downside to Friday's adjustment was that Mr Chiropractor informed me that it might inflame my angry neck/nerve bits and actually give me a migraine. Well, he was right about that, because it hit me right before lunch today. Here's hoping that he's right about everything else and fixes me good. Or at least I don't forget my magic migraine medicine in my other purse again and have to suffer through it.

I was, ironically, contemplating coffee today and how maybe, just maybe, I'd go back on the caffeine if Mr Chiropractor solved my issues. I was contemplating it in the same way one contemplates getting eyeliner tattooed on. Hypothetically. (Unless you're the rather large, butch woman I used to work with a few years ago. In which case you just go for it because your girlfriend likes it and you can't be bothered to apply it the old fashioned way. To that I say, if you're willing to let needles poke around your eye balls, respect.) But then I got a migraine, and now I'm never even going to contemplate going back on the juice. It's a slippery slope and I am the definition of an addict. Without the crack habit. 


  1. I haven't been to the chiropractor in years, I should probably get my back check out. Ugh. lol. Hopefully your issues are solved and the migraines stop.

  2. I used to work for a chiropractor, which meant I could get adjusted for free. I would let them do my back, but I refused to let them touch my neck - I get migraines too, as you know - and the second they would crack my neck, INSTANT headache. I let them do it twice, and then informed them not again...I didn't care that they swore it would help my migraines. It wasn't worth it to me! Plus that nasty cracking noise in my ears....I shudder just remembering it!

  3. I like your use of the word "alluring". Whenever I read it though, for some reason I read it with a creepy French accent.

  4. I have no idea how you quit caffeine. I don't know if that's something I could ever do! But then again, I've never had a migraine. I thankfully don't get many headaches. If I did, I'm pretty sure I would do whatever was necessary to stop them.


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