Like that title? It's what I want to say to everyone single one of my coworkers. Whether it's because of their lack of bathroom etiquette or inability to clean out the fridge, my lovely coworkers never cease to amaze me with how unintentionally disgusting they can be.
For the past few weeks the fridge has been smelling quite earthy. In my 24 years of intense wisdom, I've come to associate that earthy fridge smell with mold. It's not a bad smell, but when it smells like nature is taking over the fridge it tends to mean something really funky is going on. And I don't mean funky in the fun way, either.
I've been going through the fridge on a regular basis to try and figure out what it is that is well on its way to dirt. I've thrown out old humus, some strange meat loaf type thing, a jar of what might have been olives at some point, and, last week, a Ziploc bag of liquefied broccoli salad. So gross.
Well, this morning I finally reached my hand all the way of the back of the fridge to take a look at the few slices of bread someone had left there in a plastic baggie. What I could see looked relatively petrified. There was no visible mold or anything, which is why I hadn't bothered with it until now. I thought maybe someone was hiding their bread in the back corner every day. Woe to me and my ignorance.
When I grabbed that baggie of bread I was greeted with a stream of mouldy/slimy/liquefied bread in the fridge, on the floor, and, worst of all, on my leggings. Praise the Lord my leggings are 100% not cotton. I wiped that vile liquid off as quickly as possible but spent another good ten minutes cleaning the fridge, floor, and garbage can lid to make sure it didn't stink. Believe you me, it stank and it stank bad.
Who wouldn't want to start their Monday off by getting covered in liquefied bread slime?