April 16, 2012

In case of emergency.

Last night I found myself thinking about the zombie apocalypse. I've always said that should it happen, I'm probably not going to make it very long in the post-apocalyptic era. Well, it's true. I'm not fast, I'm not very agile, and I wear contacts. I'd be willing to bet that within thirty hours I'd be pretty much blind. Wearing glasses wouldn't be much help either; pretty sure I'd lose them right away or they'd fall off my face and accidentally get stepped on in a mad dash to run for our lives. My vision is ever my downfall.

Pretend, if you will, that my vision isn't the issue, though. The zombie apocalypse will probably happen after I surgically correct my vision giving me an upper hand. At least, that's what I'm hoping. Well, last night I realized that Karl and I officially have enough food to last us during a natural (or unnatural) disaster. We'd be living off soup and granola bars, but we'd pull through.That's a nice feeling. We also have a stock pile of other post-apocalyptic essentials like toilet paper and mascara. We might be able to get through it after all.

Add to that emergency preparedness that I actually know more about zombie killing than most of my friends. It came up over a girls' breakfast one morning and someone asked the question, "How do you kill a zombie?" I thought it was rhetorical (because doesn't everyone know how to kill a zombie?) so I blurted out, "Double tap." No one understood. I realize that "double tap" may not mean very much to everyone, but it makes sense. Go for the brain, but always double tap to make sure you got it right. My friends didn't even know about going for the brain. I can certainly tell you who around that breakfast table wouldn't survive...

Well, I'm not too optimistic about my chances, either. I do have a brother in law that has guns, though, and a husband that I'm sure could do some evasive driving maneuvers. We'll see.

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