April 05, 2017

Thanks, kid.

Molly is 12 weeks old. I remember when Parker was this old thinking that he could stay this age forever. It was sweet, low key, sleepy times. He'd spend half the day napping and I could clean, organize, paint things, and knit whenever I wanted. It didn't matter if he was awake or not, because he was just happy to lay on his play mat and flail at his toys. Those were beautiful days.

They say that it's easier the second time around, and I certainly believe there is some truth to that. The newborn stage isn't as scary, and I find Molly very easy even though she's not as easy as her brother was. It's only been in the last month that she's been happy to lay on her back because she's so gassy, she has only napped in her crib a handful of times, and makes bedtime an exciting adventure. Aside from that, the newborn stage is much easier the second time around. I don't even mind so much that she's always around me during the day. Whereas I longed for my personal space when Parker was born, and he gladly gave it to me, by now I'm used to being the mom and always needed.

This toddler thing, though. It's hard. Parker and I had a decent routine and repertoire going when it was just us, but Molly has changed all that. I can't devote myself wholly to him anymore. He loves his sister but doesn't love sharing me. One newborn is easy. One toddler is manageable chaos. Combining the two is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

We're finally starting to get Molly into a bedtime routine (I hope) that doesn't involve her awake until 11:30. She even slept from 9-7 straight last night. I heard birds and angels singing a happy chorus this morning when I woke up, engorged but so so happy.

We have good days and bad, but my main two goals right now are getting her to bed before I'm ready to sleep (although I am in a permanent state of tired these days; it's my new normal) and having her nap in her crib. We have a video monitor so once she naps in her crib Parker and I can play outside without me having to worry about her. I also see the dreaded four month sleep regression fast approaching and want to be ready to tackle it head on. It never really bothered us with Parker because he napped in his crib from day one, but I'm feeling like my arsenal is woefully ill-equipped this time around.

Sleep is my love language and I'm feeling a little depleted at the moment.

This morning I dropped Parker off with a friend so that Molly and I could work on crib napping. I was ready. I was determined. Instead of stopping for coffee and waiting for the library to open I brought her straight home from dropping him off. I was ready to get our crib napping on, even if it meant I had to camp out next to her crib the whole time to make it happen.

She fell asleep in the carseat on the way home. Two and a half hours later she's still sleeping. I thought she'd wake up after half an hour so I didn't even try to get her out. I have to get Parker in an hour and a half. At least she's getting a good nap in.

It also turns out I don't remember how to enjoy extended quiet time. I told myself that I would just relax and enjoy my break because goodness knows the next time I'll have one like this.

I had a quiet breakfast. I drank hot coffee. I read some of my book. I even had a loud phone conversation right in front of her. Then I got antsy and put away the laundry. 

Yep, still sleeping.

Typical.

5 comments:

  1. How has it been 12 weeks already!?

    I wish I could be more help in the sleep department. I'm not an expert just yet. ;)

    Why won't she sleep in her crib? Did she just get used to sleeping somewhere else or has she hated it from day one? Hoping I don't have this problem because we do not plan on keeping our baby in our room at night...like, maybe the first night or two to see how it goes, but I'm too light of a sleeper and I'd rather go up and down the stairs multiple times a night but sleep in between nursing sessions than lay in bed awake all night listening to baby noises.

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  2. Gosh time is flying by!!! I love seeing the photos of them online.

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    1. Thank you! And it really is. I can't believe it's April already. What in the world?

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  3. Where was she sleeping prior to the crib? G slept in a Rock n Play, and training her to sleep flat on her back was HARD. I think she was Molly's age or slightly younger when we did a crib boot camp too. We had a few rough days but she took to it so much better than expected. You're about to get your life back once she's used to the crib! I love what you said about combining life with a newborn and a toddler. That makes perfect sense to me. I have no idea how you manage, but you're awesome.

    Gracie napped three hours yesterday and I had no idea what to do with myself. I tried to enjoy it, but I got so antsy and fidgety. It's such a catch-22. Our kids finally give us that blessed alone time, and it's so foreign to us we realize we have no idea how to handle it.

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  4. I always thought that. It's not the baby that's hard (not after you've had your first and know what you're doing, anyway.) It's the older kids! Having a friend who can take the older one for a while is a lifesaver!

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