March 15, 2014

I'm a day late and a pie short.

Today was one of those nostalgic for home days. We've been here two weeks (is that really all?) and I think I'm due for some home missing.

I have to work tomorrow afternoon so today is my main weekend. Karl went in to work to take a look at a potential second car for us that didn't end up panning out, so I had a couple hours to kill on my own. I figured heck, if I was at home I'd go to Joe with Mom and we'd have chai lattes, so why not go to Superstore with some Tim Hortons?

I didn't even make it in the door before I was on the phone with Mom. For 25 minutes. I wandered around Superstore and ended up walking out with two different dark chocolate bars, a can of coconut milk, and some pie crust. Because that's what I get for looking at Joe clothes alone and on the phone.

I hit up Old Navy after that and ended up messaging Larissa to help me decide if pulling the trigger on a tunic was the right choice.

I needed to know that I was the only person thinking I looked like a baby on its christening day. Or a cult member. Larissa was supportive and never even mentioned the possibility of me looking like I belonged to some sort of hippie commune.

The price didn't hurt things either, considering I'd thought it was $15 and ended up ringing up as $8.77 all told. And I have 90 days to return it. Boom. It's the little shopping on your own (kind of) things. I live for these kinds of sales. And $20 dresses are my specialty. 

I also ate an entire chocolate bar while driving from Superstore to Old Navy. I needed someone to talk to... So I spoke to it in my mouth.

Those little victories really mean something when I'm facing a big, pie shaped challenge at the moment.

We had some apples in our fridge that were from Victoria so I figured it was time to use them before they startied decomposing in our fridge. That and everyone's Pi Day photos from yesterday. Thus the pie shell. I don't do pie shells. Nobody's got time for that business. /The Dough Boy and I have been through a lot together and he's never really steered me wrong, even though I haven't exactly made it easy for him. If anyone can screw up pre-tubed food it's me. Tenderflake and I have a sordid relationship, but me and the DB have it all figured out. 

Anyway, after dinner I decided it was time to throw the pie in the oven. I figured I'd pad out my four apples with the frozen peaches and strawberries I put in my smoothies. Except when I went to take the apples out of the fridge they were wrinkled and brown and puckered and oddly firm. I stared at them for a good minute before deciding that they were petrifying and no longer fit for human consumption.

Yeah, you can see where this is going.

I went through my bag of frozen fruit, leaving the grapes and pineapple for smoothies (because that would be one whack pie otherwise). Once the filling was good and prepped and in the pie shell it was pretty clear that it wasn't enough. There was a lot of top crust and only about half a filling. Don't get me wrong, I love pastry crust, but I like filling, too.

So I did some thinking and fridge perusing. There was nothing in our fridge that could possibly go into that fruity pie. I mean, I've heard of steak and onion pie, but onion and peach and strawberry pie? I'll pass.

Custard, however, would probably fill out the pie nicely. Except I don't have any custard. I did, however, have a pack of instant vanilla pudding powder.

Oh, what, you didn't see that one coming? Clearly you've never baked with me before.

After a quick consultation with Karl as to whether I should throw my partially completed pie in the freezer for another time, or plow ahead with franken-pie, we decided that the promise of pie was too tempting. So I dumped the pudding powder in a bowl, eyeballed a reasonable amount of almond milk into it, stirred with a wooden spoon, and then poured it over the fruit already in the crust.

Yeah, I'm worried, too, but hey, it's my first solo pie ever. I use pudding powder for my cinnamon buns, so why not in lieu of custard? Right?

The good news is that I'm not going to have to attempt coconut milk whipped cream again because the pudding should do the trick. I have a long, embarrassing history of attempting coconut whipped cream. There have been tears.

Anyway, I'm going to make sure my franken-pie isn't spontaneously combusting. Pray for me.


  1. I can't wait to hear how your pie turned out! Sounds like quite the baking adventure!

  2. " I needed someone to talk to... So I spoke to it in my mouth." I laughed out loud. And then cried a bit because this happens to me wayyyyyyy too often.

    Frankly, I think your franken-pie turned out beautifully. Good call on leaving out the grapes.

    Oh and that tunic - I think it's cute, personally.


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