February 18, 2013

It's madness, I tell you.

Well, this weekend wasn't very fun. Friday night was lovely, though, I'll give it that.

After work on Friday the four of us HR ladies went to a very trendy local restaurant (the kind that tourists and locals alike always go to) and had a lovely meal of martinis, pasta, lasagna, and martinis. We also shared a piece of cheesecake. It was my boss' birthday. We got to sit on the top floor, which we didn't even really know existed, where there was just enough room for the four of us. It was glorious. I'd post a photo, but... I'll get to that in a minute.

We were there from 5:30 until just before 10. And that's how working women go out for dinner.

I won't tell you how much I spent, but just know that it's more than I have ever in my life spent on one meal for myself. Thankfully, the bonus dollars on my credit card that I've been accumulating for years are going to make it disappear. The budget doesn't need to call it a day just yet.

Saturday was okay, we did some life insuring and power taking, but then I got a migraine. It wasn't bad, but it was an excuse to watch TV, nap, and eat leftover lasagna. We'd had plans with friend but they'd had to cancel due to illness.

Sunday Karl and I tried a new church. It was our second time visiting, and we're trying to get a feel if it's right for us. I'm not going to bore you with the details of why we're doing this, but just know that I have never, in my life, gone to another church unless it was for a funeral, wedding, or to see a friend's baby get baptised. Okay, I may have been dragged along by my mom once or twice to check out other churches as a kid, but it was never for the purpose of looking for a new place to settle down. I have some serious new situation anxiety. I need a buddy with me that is much more confident.

I think my anxiety is due to my extreme awkwardness. I committed the most awkward faux pas during the meet and greet portion of the service. Most people shake hands and say good morning, how's it going at that time, but the lady in front of us, I guess, decided to rapid fire all the strangers sitting behind her. She went for the high fives. I went for the shake. I shook a high five. She looked at my like I was mental. It was traumatizing. NEVER SHAKE ON THE HIGH FIVE.

I guess I was just so caught off guard by the surprise of it all. So much hand shaking and I was in the zone so I just though, surely she's going for the hand shake wrong. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and helped her out. I mean, she was at least in her 50s, after all. Maybe she was going senile and forgot how to shake.

Oh, gosh. What was I thinking?

After that humiliating gem (I'm not sure we'll ever go back there again, even though the music was wonderful and the pastor made us laugh and learn simultaneously) Mom took Karl and to Tim Hortons for lunch. She still loves me, even though I fail at high fives.

Now, I'm not really one to talk about bathroom business on my blog (in real life anything goes), but I have to tell you about the Tim Hortons toilet. I'd been holding it since church started because I really didn't want to be the stranger that got up to pee in the middle of the service and we were sitting pretty close to the front. (If that's not a walk of shame, I don't know what is) so as soon as we hit Tim's I headed for the ladies room.

Now, I've been to pretty much every Tim Hortons from here to Parksville, and all the way across to Regina. The bathrooms are never anything special, generally to be avoided unless on a road trip, and they always have that weird toilet paper that comes out like Kleenex. Except it's like one-ply Kleenex that also doubles as sand paper. Anyway, my local Tim Hortons bathroom was extra horrible yesterday.

Not only did they not have a door hook for my purse (thankfully the counter was clean and dry for once) but the toilet seat also looked like someone might have been chewing on it. The plastic was all coming us. In retrospect, it was probably from one too many people wiping it off with that freaky TP before having a seat. Traumatizing.

Have you ever seen a toilet seat like that? If you haven't, I pray that you never do. That Tim Hortons isn't even that old. Yuck.

Mom and I hit up Costco, along with the rest of the population of BC yesterday afternoon. I had to return some pants I got and Mom needed to buy herself a pair in a different colour before they sold out. Since we were there I bought Karl some Honey Nut Cheerios and milk so he could eat like an elementary schooler.

I don't really have a problem standing in lines but never, ever in my life have I seen those Costco lines so long. I wanted to actually kill myself then and there because then I wouldn't have to spend the next eight years of my life waiting to save a dollar on sugar cereal.

Then it got better. Karl called and informed me that the laptop screen wasn't turning on. My beautiful, three year old laptop that has all my pictures and music, and sits so nicely in my lap, was only working when plugged into the TV. It's even white and gorgeous. Karl got it for me as a Christmas gift right before we were married so I could bring it to school. My old Dell was way too massive to fit in a reasonably sized backpack and now serves as our junker computer.

Well, we took my beautiful laptop to the laptop doctor and were informed that it was likely fatal. Fixing her would set us back about $300 and for that price we could just buy a new computer. Instead we came home with a wireless keyboard and mouse package and a laptop that now runs solely through the TV. So much for budgeting on the run. Not that we can right now, anyway. Quicken won't update properly from our bank account at the moment. Woot woot.

This evening as I settled in for a little blogging therapy, I went to plug my laptop into the telly and, lo and behold, the screen worked. I took a photo and texted it to Karl and everything. It's like a moving toe after a spinal injury. Then, naturally, my password would not work, and I had to restart the whole darn thing. At which point the screen did not revive and I am now blogging on 46" screen. At least my music is coming through real speakers this time. I'd post photos but it's just way too awkward (and I'm afraid to touch anything). Follow me on the Instagram and you'll really understand where I'm at through photos. I'm also really attractive and witty so I'm not sure why you wouldn't. My food is better looking than yours.

I can also legitimately say my blog is really big.

I'm pretty sure we have elves. I actually called one of our friends to find out if that was a legitimate issue known to computers: sabotaging elves. It's really the only explanation. I'm still missing a paring knife from a few months ago. It's like I have a whole bunch of Kreachers and no Dobbys (Dobbies?). Of course my house elves would be the nasty ones.

Anyway, backtracking a bit, things did start to improve last night. I made myself ride the stationary bike before I has a hissy fit, then treated myself to some coconut double chocolate two ingredient cookies and a glass of wine. It was an amazing pairing, and went really well with The Walking Dead. I really am a simple person.

Today I went to work, wishing for a weekend do-over. I couldn't even find my black dress pants this morning so I had to change and ended up power walking like a crazy person to work. I was less than five minutes late, thankfully, and still got there before my supervisor. Nothing's worse than giving it your all and having someone effortlessly power right by you. The walk still helped to melt some of my irrational hatred towards today away. And by hatred I mean displeasure.

Things did start to pick up in the late morning. My friend Megan texted me with the best news a girl can here:  Rrrrrroll up the rim!! My mood improved by about a million percent then and there. Roll up The Rim to Win is one of my favouritest things ever. I feel like it's a week early this year, and I'm a little sad it wasn't in effect yesterday when I was faced with chewed on toilet seats, but my joy knows no bounds.

Since I've kicked the caffeine/steeped tea habit Roll Up doesn't really mean the same thing. I mean, I'm also on a budget this year, but it's true, I'm pretty sure the amount of small decaf coffees with two creams I buy just trippled.

I think my blog just hit another mile-stone, actually: the second anniversary of Roll Up. Instead of reiterating my depth of Roll Up knowledge (from here on out capitalized because it's basically a Person) I'm going to refer to 2012's thoughts on it.

If you don't live anywhere with a Tim Hortons, I'm really sorry, and you should probably move to Canada stat.

For the record, I'm 0 for 1.

So that was good news this morning. I also found out this afternoon that the husband of one of my friends got a job at my work, and all because I lobbied for him and told him to apply. Well, when I texted her to say "Good news!" the news I got in return was a little bit more excited.

Something along the lines of... "Josh got a job and I'm pregnant!"

So I naturally did such a big inhalation of shocked and happy breath that something like a squeal-type noise happened. You know, as annoying as friends' kids can be sometimes (this one already has a two year old that I may or may not have mentioned last week) I still want them to have a lot of them. I'm not there yet, but that doesn't mean that my need for baby snuggles is dormant. It's a full fledge fire. I have baby fever, but not in the sense that my womb is empty and aching to be filled; my arms are empty and dying to hold snuggly, chubby babies. Especially girls.

I made a prediction that at least one my friends would have a baby this year, and there would be another pregnancy (aside from the one I already knew about). Well, in August I'm going to have two babies to snuggle, one of which will call me auntie. It's only February. That leaves someone another 10 months to get knocked up. I'm basically a seer.

So the day turned around. I mean, my mom picked me up from work and we went to Tim's. We ate cookies, watched Downton, and I knit. I also hate spoilers about people that are leaving shows. It makes twists so much less twisty. Then again, it results in less tears due to television. Have I mentioned before how I'm pretty sure my hormones are pretty much having a sympathetic pregnancy? I just have a lot of feelings.

Okay, friends, I'm out. Here's hoping the elves don't come back and change my password again, otherwise my next blog post might be full of spite, or possibly written in Elvish.

Now, go forth and win at life.


  1. I have TOTALLY done the "shake on the high five" thing before! And vice versa. SO AWKWARD!! But seriously...who high-fives people in church instead of just shaking their hand like a normal person??? I blame her for the awkwardness, not you.

    I have never heard of Tim Horton's.

  2. I have done the shake on a high five! Incredibly awkward but something funny to look back on haha.

  3. Oh Anna. I love your posts. I giggled about the high five shake. I don't think I've done that before, but I certainly wouldn't put it past me. And you're right, the walk from the sanctuary to the bathroom really is the walk of shame. Like your bladder is more important than God. Which it isn't, of course, but I feel like that's what people think.

    I hope your computer screen comes back! That happened to my Dell a few years ago. That thing was terrible.

    Roll up the rim! I bought so many coffees last year, but I never won. Timmy Ho's is no longer behind my place of employment, so I doubt I'll be making stops as often. Also, someone brought Timbits to work today, and I thought of you!

  4. I haven't done the shake and high five thing, but I have done one where someone was going for a hand shake, but I thought they were going for a hug. It was awkward.

    Also, bathrooms can be SO nasty. I've been to toilets like that. Peeling and just plain nastiness. I don't want to know how it got that way.

  5. SOOO similar to the hug or handshake awkward moment. So embarrassing.


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