March 22, 2012

Hey, Burns. Steinbeck.

You know how it goes, I don't need to tell you. "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

We leave for Disneyland on Saturday and are meeting up with Christopher and Natalie in Surrey on Sunday before crossing into the US. I plan on cranking Matt Maher's "Woke up in America" every single morning when we get in the car. I re-found out that he's a Newfie so now it's more legit. He's a Canadian singing about "more than fireworks and fanfare, more than a star-spangled banner" and you know what? He still says, "you're still beautiful America." How does that not scream needing to be heard on the classic road trip to the happiest place on earth? With a genuine American in the car nonetheless. Well, dually but still American.

I've had a lot I wanted to get done this week before going away and have given myself a mini schedule but I'll talk more about that tomorrow. Just know that I've been trying to do a great many things while still living in the realm of reality. Physically, I've been doing okay. I've been going to bed later than I think I should but I know I can handle a few days of pushing the limit. My body should also be able to deal with 7 1/2 hours of sleep no problem. I haven't gone that soft since I graduated.

Last night, being Wednesday, we had dinner at my dad's. Before the meal even began my vision started going wonky. When this happens, as it has several times before, my natural reaction is to inwardly freak it. It means I'm getting a migraine. I hate migraines. My list of things I can't handle is relatively small and it consists of spiders, pickles, and liars, in no particular order. Migraines belong on that list but they're even worse because I fear them; I can't control them.

Until last night.

After my last migraine I was mad. Really mad. They come on, giving me just enough notice to rush home, into bed, heavily medicate, and ice my face. The rest of the night is totally gone. I usually try to get up and salvage some of it but my success rate isn't very high. So I went to my doctor and he gave me some drugs meant to stop migraines as they happen. It's been three and a half glorious months since my last head explosion and last night was the first opportunity I had to take my fancy new pill. It was terrifying.

I took the pill, some acetaminophen with caffeine, a ginger tablet for the inevitable nausea, and ate a normal dinner. When we went home I napped for half an hour then watched a movie. It was the weirdest thing. I beat my migraine. I still had the visual aura which lets me know what's coming, but I didn't have any hand numbness and had only a bit of head pain. My brain functionality went totally down. I was pretty nauseous but that I can deal with and, all things considered, I hardly have the migraine hangover at all today.

I couldn't knit last night while watching the movie which was frustrating because two and a half hours is a long time to sit still but I made it through. Yes, we finally watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Karl thinks my migraines are brought upon by stress and I think he's right. I've given up on bananas for now and moderated my caffeine intake to try and control them. It's funny the stress that causes them, though. I can do a pretty good job of dealing with stress in my day to day life. I try not to let it wreck me emotionally and I think I succeed fairly well. Stress' physical toll is something else entirely, though. I can feel like I have it under wraps but it's the little, nagging things that seem to set my brain off into self-destruct mode.

Today, I'm tired, when I walk my brain shakes uncomfortably, and I'm feeling a little gross but nothing I can't handle. One of my coworkers even brought me a london fog this morning. I'm feeling good, though. I accomplished something last night although it wasn't on my to-do list. Today I'm taking a step back and acknowledging my limitations and skimping on some things I don't want to. I'm just glad that this happened this week instead of next.

With a london fog and a nice slow day, I know I can get through this. Come on, weekend...

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